It was a beautiful morning. We were up early to set off on another excursion from the ship, as the sun was rising over the rugged landscape. But I was only seeing the others off on their visit to Careening Bay.

I’d come away knowing that I may not be able to do some, or many of the things that others would be doing and I had been telling myself that I was OK with that. I would be grateful for the things I was able to do and accepting of my limitations.

Surely just being in this beautiful part of our country was enough to remind me to be thankful.

Creation seems so awesome, so big, as you gaze at the wide horizons, the rugged cliffs, the hidden sandy – or rocky beaches, the beautiful sunrises and sunsets and even watching the moon set over the water in an orange glow.

It’s beautiful – all of it – and I’m so thankful we have such a great God, a creator who planned such beauty and diversity, who holds it together and lets us be a part of it.
As I sat in the lounge that morning, I tried to keep reminding myself of all I was still doing and seeing – even if I didn’t get to go with the others:

– I was doing this trip – something I’d thought I’d never be able to do.
– I was seeing beauty everywhere, even if not managing to do all I’d hoped to do.
– I’d met new people and shared times of fellowship with them – it was great to be sharing this trip with a Christian tour group.
– Thinking back over all that had happened to me the last few months, it was amazing I’d even got here.
– I was warm, missing the cold weather at home for a couple of weeks.
– There were people praying for me, some here and others elsewhere.
– God was in control. He knew what I was thinking and feeling. He understood my disappointment, my fear and my pain.

In the devotions we’d been sharing on board, we’d talked about what kind of reflection our lives are to others.

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14)

I wondered if all anyone was seeing was my grumbling and complaining?

Much as I wanted to be the person who was making the best of things, grateful for what I could do and experience – today, I wasn’t so sure. It was hard to be left behind, to spend so much time alone, mostly stuck in my cabin where I couldn’t even see the scenery going by.

So much I could do last year, is not possible now. I’m fearful at times, of what lies ahead and struggling to be hopeful about a future that will probably only become more difficult. In the midst of these thoughts, I knew that God would be teaching me in, and through this experience. They were lessons I really didn’t want to hear, or accept that morning.

“Self pity is a shiny, bottomless pit. Once you fall in, you tend to go deeper and deeper into the mire. Your only hope is to look up and see the Light of My Presence shining down on you – those rays of hope can reach you at any depth.” from Sarah Young’s “Jesus Calling” (July 16)

My pity party seemed to pass as others returned and I wasn’t alone thinking about all I was unable to do.

Later that day, I was able to get out with the others for a while even if not able to do some things they were doing. It was a beautiful trip up the Prince Regent River – one of the mighty Rivers in the Kimberley. The latter part of our expedition took us to a beautiful cascading waterfall, where we sat admiring it for some time – one of my favourite things to do!